I mentor individuals who have been recently injured and one of the questions they always ask is, “will I ever be sexually active again?” My answer to their question is simple; it depends on you. Everyone is different in their abilities and in their sexual preparedness. First you must make sure that…

1.     Ask your primary doctor or gynecologist if your healthy enough for sexual          activity. 

2.     Your old enough for consensual sexual activity. 

3.     Your comfortable with yourself and know your body (for example how                would your disability and mental state effect the sexual experience you             want to have).

 4.     You are comfortable enough to speak to your partner about your                         disability and your needs as they pertain to you as an individual with a 

 5.     You know what your wants and desires are. If it would make either you or  your partner more comfortable, make them aware of your unique circumstances, and possible limitations prior to your first sexual experience. If it’s not a big deal, then indulge in learning along the way! 

6.     Do not get stuck in your head and nervous thinking you will not measure up to other experiences they may have had. You might be able to do things that they cannot!!!  

In my opinion these simple steps will help you get ready. And the last thing I will say is... get the idea out of your head that your sexual experience will look and feel the same as those on tv. We have different needs and disability needs. You will find your way of making things sexy but do not discourage yourself from having a good time because you are not fulfilling some fantasy on tv. Especially if that fantasy does not include someone in a wheelchair or with the disability you have. One of my most awful thoughts when I was thinking of becoming sexually active was thinking, “Are my legs going to have a spasm? Will I be able to actually feel anything because of my injury and will it feel like an authentic experience or feel like everything is wrong and out of place?” 

As I grew older and was more comfortable talking to my partner now wife back then we learned together what works and does not work and we threw any movie expectations we had out the window and just focused on us and our moment. Not someone else’s moment. Well, I hope this helps a little and by far this does not even touch the surface on how big this subject is and how it affects us, but it is a start. Thank you for watching and if you enjoyed this video please like and subscribe!

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